Sometimes I'm scared of myself. Scared of this almost masochist nature of mine that attracts me to men who I know are completely and totally incompatible with me, my family, my background, everything about me. Men, who I know I cannot live the rest of my life with. Give me 100 men and tell me to choose and I think I'll probably narrow down on the least compatible, not-my-type, not-long-term kind of guy. I just don't trust my judgement and I read of so many women who made their own choice and are SO happy with it (for example, ALL the women in my J'aime list....).
How did they do it ? What should I be looking for ?
Like now, this guy in office that I'm currently very fascinated (?) by. He's just the kind of temporary fool-around-with type. Laid back, not much focus, very very different background. And yet, I have this weird attraction to him. More like a ooh-so-cute , ooh-ooh-ooh passing fancy. Maybe that's all that it is , just a passing fancy. But I'm scared that in the midst of all these fascinations and passing fancies , I might just -
a. mistake a passing fancy for the real thing
b. mistake the real thing for a passing fancy
c. just miss out completely on the real thing.
(ya , bullet points and all.. That's how real the whole fear is in my head)
Maybe I'm just being paranoid and I should have a little more faith in myself.
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3 comments:
hey i know im not on your j'aime list.. but just wanted to tell you that i have felt the exact same thing... several times and still do.
but i decided that unless i try i won't find out!
If it's the real thing, I'm sure he'll come after you and shake you till you realise it.
write more arrack!
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