decisions

Last year, this time, my parents had seen me off at the airport and I was on my way to Bangalore. My first job....

And today, this time, I'm thinking of quitting and moving on.

When I joined, it was more that I was trying out what it was like to work, just for the experience. Ultimately, I would get back to studies and start on my PhD. But even then and especially somewhere in-between the last one year, I started to doubt whether I was really up to a PhD. I wondered if I was doing it because that was the next thing to do (which is often the reason why I do most things) and whether I would be able to survive it. At the same time, life in the corporate world was not exactly rosy. Trouble with the m. Loss of interest. All this only hastened my decision to get back to studies.
I liked studying, I'd love to study in a foreign university, I know that I'll learn a lot, and not just Economics.

But at the same time, there's the nagging thought in the back of my head. That I'm throwing away an extremely-well-paying-challenging-high-growth-potential-very-niche-area-exclusive job. All that money , the independence. Gone , gone , gone...
This laptop. This flat. Evening smoke. Long phone calls. Not looking at the right-hand side of the menu before ordering..All gone....

Its a pretty scary thought.

But then again, I tell myself life's not going to be miserable. Different, but not miserable...

I don't know if I'm making the right decision. I'll know that only much later. It IS a plunge into the dark, but I think I need to do that atleast once in my life...