Saturday, 25 November 2006

I was reading my old diary and found a note that my friend who was in Delhi at that time had sent me along with my old cassettes that I had left behind there. I was going through a really bad time then and she wrote to me saying ' I hope this brings back some of the happiness. In the end its a ll worthwhile. Get stronger. Don't lose yourself in all this cynicism. '

I hope that I haven't lost myself in the cynicism and the bitterness. I worry that I will become so 'strong' that I become hardened. I worry that my heart has become like stone. Things stay etched in it , the very good AND the very bad memories. And sometimes, I think its better to erase the bad things and move on. But then , how can you erase an etching ?

4 comments:

manjadi said...

so you think there is a contradiction between the get stronger and the dont be cynical?

Tarantismo said...

I wonder... Not necessarily I think. I just think its a thin line between getting stronger and getting hardened.

Fireflies said...

hahaha ive figured out who you are... hehe i love this. i feel like a detective. yes im jobless. i know what u mean abt the pessimism.. it usually envelopes me to such a point, i actually feel scared to get out of its warm clutches. what do can one say about onesself when negativity makes us feel comfortable?!?

Tarantismo said...

Ya it really does get comfortable being negative and pessimistic. But I keep thinking that I'm missing out on something by being so negative.. negative about being negative...
help help help !!!!!