I don't care if the m is nasty and moody and permananently on PMS , I don't care that people don't have basic courtesies, I don't care if people are selfish and manipulative and yet claim to have only MY best interests in mind..
......I DO NOT CARE ....
....... BECAUSE .......
I have THE most awesome pair of jeans that make me want to squeeeeeeeze my ass EVERY SINGLE time I see myself in the mirror.
Friday, 18 May 2007
Monday, 14 May 2007
decisions
Last year, this time, my parents had seen me off at the airport and I was on my way to Bangalore. My first job....
And today, this time, I'm thinking of quitting and moving on.
When I joined, it was more that I was trying out what it was like to work, just for the experience. Ultimately, I would get back to studies and start on my PhD. But even then and especially somewhere in-between the last one year, I started to doubt whether I was really up to a PhD. I wondered if I was doing it because that was the next thing to do (which is often the reason why I do most things) and whether I would be able to survive it. At the same time, life in the corporate world was not exactly rosy. Trouble with the m. Loss of interest. All this only hastened my decision to get back to studies.
I liked studying, I'd love to study in a foreign university, I know that I'll learn a lot, and not just Economics.
But at the same time, there's the nagging thought in the back of my head. That I'm throwing away an extremely-well-paying-challenging-high-growth-potential-very-niche-area-exclusive job. All that money , the independence. Gone , gone , gone...
This laptop. This flat. Evening smoke. Long phone calls. Not looking at the right-hand side of the menu before ordering..All gone....
Its a pretty scary thought.
But then again, I tell myself life's not going to be miserable. Different, but not miserable...
I don't know if I'm making the right decision. I'll know that only much later. It IS a plunge into the dark, but I think I need to do that atleast once in my life...
And today, this time, I'm thinking of quitting and moving on.
When I joined, it was more that I was trying out what it was like to work, just for the experience. Ultimately, I would get back to studies and start on my PhD. But even then and especially somewhere in-between the last one year, I started to doubt whether I was really up to a PhD. I wondered if I was doing it because that was the next thing to do (which is often the reason why I do most things) and whether I would be able to survive it. At the same time, life in the corporate world was not exactly rosy. Trouble with the m. Loss of interest. All this only hastened my decision to get back to studies.
I liked studying, I'd love to study in a foreign university, I know that I'll learn a lot, and not just Economics.
But at the same time, there's the nagging thought in the back of my head. That I'm throwing away an extremely-well-paying-challenging-high-growth-potential-very-niche-area-exclusive job. All that money , the independence. Gone , gone , gone...
This laptop. This flat. Evening smoke. Long phone calls. Not looking at the right-hand side of the menu before ordering..All gone....
Its a pretty scary thought.
But then again, I tell myself life's not going to be miserable. Different, but not miserable...
I don't know if I'm making the right decision. I'll know that only much later. It IS a plunge into the dark, but I think I need to do that atleast once in my life...
Saturday, 12 May 2007
I should have listened to the voice inside my head and rented Syriana or Manchurian Candidate or Shaolin Soccer or Lethal Weapon or something, something, anything other than Love Actually. I was weepy from scene 1. Goodbyes are instant tear-inducers for me, followed closely by meeting / seeing people meeting their loved ones after a long time.... And the first scene was a scene at Heathrow Airport, people meeting their loved ones. Sigh.
I kept getting all teary-eyed during the movie and at times getting irritated with all the lovelovelove shite.... But mostly teary eyed....
Next time, Shaolin Soccer...
I kept getting all teary-eyed during the movie and at times getting irritated with all the lovelovelove shite.... But mostly teary eyed....
Next time, Shaolin Soccer...
Saturday Sights
I went up to my landlord's flat to pay my electricity bill. His wife was not in town, so I'd been dealing with his mother. A plump, dominating lady, with hair on her upper lip and money on her mind, all the time...
So there I was, outside the flat, Saturday morning. I rang the bell , the maid opened the door and I asked if Aunty was in. She mouthed something to me, I don't know what she was trying to say, and I found it quite unusual but ignored it.
I heard Aunty shouting something from inside. So I popped my head in to tell her I had come to pay the bill. AND WHAT DO I SEE..... NAKED ... NUDE.... FAT AUNTY... LYING ON THE FLOOR...Horror of Horrors !!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I was completely flustered and quickly popped my head out... The maid had a wicked grin on her face and I couldn't help but grin back. I quickly handed over the money to her and rushed down to my flat, closed the door behind me and screamed my heart out and then had a good hearty laugh...
So there I was, outside the flat, Saturday morning. I rang the bell , the maid opened the door and I asked if Aunty was in. She mouthed something to me, I don't know what she was trying to say, and I found it quite unusual but ignored it.
I heard Aunty shouting something from inside. So I popped my head in to tell her I had come to pay the bill. AND WHAT DO I SEE..... NAKED ... NUDE.... FAT AUNTY... LYING ON THE FLOOR...Horror of Horrors !!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I was completely flustered and quickly popped my head out... The maid had a wicked grin on her face and I couldn't help but grin back. I quickly handed over the money to her and rushed down to my flat, closed the door behind me and screamed my heart out and then had a good hearty laugh...
Thursday, 10 May 2007
A tag saved my blog !!!!!!!!!!!
1. PICK OUT A SCAR YOU HAVE, AND EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT IT.
On my left elbow. Bike accident. Got a ride from Pondi to Chennai,and we were stopping for breakfast. Was turning (very slowly, very gently) into the restaurant parking lot when the bike skidded on the sand. Ugly ugly scar. Now I can feel my legs go weak everytime I sit behind someone on a bike and we take a turn...
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
A face of Jesus, sculpted in stone and laid on a wooden background. From Argentina, courtesy my brother. Album cover of Bob Dylan's World Gone Wrong , framed, courtesy JT from College.
And a small square framed painting - a greeting card, with Inca-like pictures.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE?
Very ordinary Nokia. I wanted something absolutely non-fancy. I don't know the model number and in a conference call now, so I can't open it up and check. Took a guess and googled Nokia 6030 and yes, that's my phone.
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
lots of this and that. Lot of my father's music - beatles, led zep, doors, dylan, simon&garfunkel. Then there's U2, The White Stripes And I like a lot of pop songs as well, and I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT - I like black-eyed peas, I like some bhalle bhalle when I'm drunk, I like eminem and Notorious BIG (this being my current favourite)
5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
It's my office laptop so I have my office logo on it.
Boring , I know....
6. WHAT DO I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Someone to make the right decision for me...
A foot massage would be good.
And world peace....
7. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE?
What's there to believe? It's there , it's there.
8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
Afternoon, 12:30 or so, I think.
9. ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL TOGETHER?
It's going to be a whopping 27 years and they're still yapping away to each other. I really wonder sometimes, what there is to talk about....
10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
To someone, 8000 miles away , talking about something I don't want to know about. That was five mins back. Now, Twist in my Sobriety by Tanita Tikaram
11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
No, thankfully. I have woken up from bad dreams and then felt scared of the dark, but that doesn't happen too often.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
My manager
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE/PERFUME?
I recently tried on some Chanel perfume, don't remember which one. Loved it.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR / EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Black, of course.
15. DO YOU LIKE PAIN KILLERS?
I try to avoid them as much. But do take them once in while , when I'm in the wrong time of the month and can't stand up straight and need to get to office. But never more than one and I try not to have it every month.
16. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Oh yes !! Very very ! would never do it. The moment I'm attracted to someone , I find myself consciously avoiding them or backing off.
17. FAVE PIZZA TOPPING?
Pepperoni, obviously ! I totally agree with you , Fireflies !
19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
My manager, but then he IS mad. I didn't make him mad.
Hmmm, I don't know. Anon 1 / anon 2 , have I made any of you mad recently ?
I think it was Appa. I'm not sure if he was really pissed off. I was too mad myself to notice.
20. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
No, not that I know of.
On my left elbow. Bike accident. Got a ride from Pondi to Chennai,and we were stopping for breakfast. Was turning (very slowly, very gently) into the restaurant parking lot when the bike skidded on the sand. Ugly ugly scar. Now I can feel my legs go weak everytime I sit behind someone on a bike and we take a turn...
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
A face of Jesus, sculpted in stone and laid on a wooden background. From Argentina, courtesy my brother. Album cover of Bob Dylan's World Gone Wrong , framed, courtesy JT from College.
And a small square framed painting - a greeting card, with Inca-like pictures.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE?
Very ordinary Nokia. I wanted something absolutely non-fancy. I don't know the model number and in a conference call now, so I can't open it up and check. Took a guess and googled Nokia 6030 and yes, that's my phone.
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
lots of this and that. Lot of my father's music - beatles, led zep, doors, dylan, simon&garfunkel. Then there's U2, The White Stripes And I like a lot of pop songs as well, and I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT - I like black-eyed peas, I like some bhalle bhalle when I'm drunk, I like eminem and Notorious BIG (this being my current favourite)
5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
It's my office laptop so I have my office logo on it.
Boring , I know....
6. WHAT DO I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Someone to make the right decision for me...
A foot massage would be good.
And world peace....
7. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE?
What's there to believe? It's there , it's there.
8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
Afternoon, 12:30 or so, I think.
9. ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL TOGETHER?
It's going to be a whopping 27 years and they're still yapping away to each other. I really wonder sometimes, what there is to talk about....
10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
To someone, 8000 miles away , talking about something I don't want to know about. That was five mins back. Now, Twist in my Sobriety by Tanita Tikaram
11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
No, thankfully. I have woken up from bad dreams and then felt scared of the dark, but that doesn't happen too often.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
My manager
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE/PERFUME?
I recently tried on some Chanel perfume, don't remember which one. Loved it.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR / EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Black, of course.
15. DO YOU LIKE PAIN KILLERS?
I try to avoid them as much. But do take them once in while , when I'm in the wrong time of the month and can't stand up straight and need to get to office. But never more than one and I try not to have it every month.
16. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Oh yes !! Very very ! would never do it. The moment I'm attracted to someone , I find myself consciously avoiding them or backing off.
17. FAVE PIZZA TOPPING?
Pepperoni, obviously ! I totally agree with you , Fireflies !
19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
My manager, but then he IS mad. I didn't make him mad.
Hmmm, I don't know. Anon 1 / anon 2 , have I made any of you mad recently ?
I think it was Appa. I'm not sure if he was really pissed off. I was too mad myself to notice.
20. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
No, not that I know of.
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
ANYWAY
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world your best anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Mother Teresa
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world your best anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Mother Teresa
Tuesday, 1 May 2007
My life and an insight into my highly advanced decision-making skills
Tenth Standard:
I don't think I like Biology, well, not enough to be able to dissect dead animals.
I don't like History, I can't mug up all the dates.
So what does that leave me with then ? Eco Commerce Accounts. Okie dokie.
Twelfth Standard:
I don't like Commerce. Too much theory and definitions. I like Accounts, so CA ? Nah, too much effort. And I don't want to narrow down to a particular field just yet. Eco? Yeah, well it doesn't cut down too many options and like I said, I don't want to narrow down my options just yet. Okay, so BA Eco it shall be.
2nd Year Eco
NO MORE ECO , never again.
3rd Year Eco
Well maybe a Masters, since I can't think of anything else.
2 years and a Masters in Economics later.
Should I study more ? Should I work ? Maybe I should work , just to get some exposure to the environment, just so that I know what it's like. Yeah okay, maybe I'll work. In any case, it won't narrow down any options.
1 year later
Hmmm, maybe I should get back to studies. Just for the exposure. I do like to study. I might just enjoy it. But study what ? Eco, of course. But what in Eco ? I don't want to narrow down on a field, not just yet.
How can I decide what I want to do unless I know what its LIKE to do that something ? Which means I should give everything a shot, or else, I would be making an ill-informed decision right ?
I don't think I like Biology, well, not enough to be able to dissect dead animals.
I don't like History, I can't mug up all the dates.
So what does that leave me with then ? Eco Commerce Accounts. Okie dokie.
Twelfth Standard:
I don't like Commerce. Too much theory and definitions. I like Accounts, so CA ? Nah, too much effort. And I don't want to narrow down to a particular field just yet. Eco? Yeah, well it doesn't cut down too many options and like I said, I don't want to narrow down my options just yet. Okay, so BA Eco it shall be.
2nd Year Eco
NO MORE ECO , never again.
3rd Year Eco
Well maybe a Masters, since I can't think of anything else.
2 years and a Masters in Economics later.
Should I study more ? Should I work ? Maybe I should work , just to get some exposure to the environment, just so that I know what it's like. Yeah okay, maybe I'll work. In any case, it won't narrow down any options.
1 year later
Hmmm, maybe I should get back to studies. Just for the exposure. I do like to study. I might just enjoy it. But study what ? Eco, of course. But what in Eco ? I don't want to narrow down on a field, not just yet.
How can I decide what I want to do unless I know what its LIKE to do that something ? Which means I should give everything a shot, or else, I would be making an ill-informed decision right ?
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