money matters

Application for Summer School in lovely Lima – Accepted

Application for funding to go all the way to lovely Lima for Summer School – Unsuccessful

What to do what to do… ? Oh to win that 1000 pound lucky draw…. sigh..

I cry easily. When I feel misunderstood or I finding something unfair or because I feel so helpless. Sometimes its because I feel overwhelmed or touched by someone or something. I don't understand why I have to hide my tears. Why, when I watch a movie with someone, I have to bite my teeth and use all my strength to hold the tears back, lest I embarass myself.

I watched Talk to Her a couple of days back. Its an exquisite movie. I cried while I listened to this song. I felt like the song just moved all over my body and wrapped itself around me.



Softly the night wind singing
Tells me it's bringing my love to me
With every breath it's sending
Love never ending across the sea
My heart and I are trying
To keep from crying
But we are lonely
Fly little bird go winging
And please lead him home safely to me

Cucurrucucu Paloma
Cucurrucucu Paloma
Bring him back to me forever
Let us always be together

What good is my tomorrow
When filled with sorrow just like today
I need him here to hold me
Here to enfold me, always to stay
So little bird please find him
And then remind him I am so lonely
Fly little bird, go winging
And please lead him home safely to me

Cucurrucucu Paloma
Cucurrucucu Paloma
Bring him back to me forever
Let us always be together

Cucurrucucu
Cucurrucucu
Cucurrucucu
Let us always be together

I'd like to believe that I have Spanish blood in me. My name has a Spanish origin, so that's a start. I'd love to learn Spanish. I know I'll like it. I imagine myself , writing a book about myself and my love for Spanish, beginning like this.
'Sometimes I feel guilty about my love for the language. The kind of guilt that one feels when you love another woman more than you love your own mother. I feel like I'm trying to run away from my roots..."

Or something like that.... :)

I have an unhealthy reading habit. When I start on a book, I'm hooked on to it. Especially in the morning. I don't particularly like mornings, which is why I make sure I drown myself in a book the whole morning !

When I wake up, I tell myself I'll read one chapter and then get out of bed. So I read a chapter. Then I read as I walk into the bathroom, while I put paste on my brush. I read while I brush my teeth. I read while I'm waiting for the milk to boil. And then I put it down for a brief 10 seconds as I get my coffee together. I read while I wait for the bread to toast. And then I set my book aside while I take my coffee and toast to the living room and read the paper. A quick glance through the headlines, the international news and of course, the cartoon strips.

My coffee's still not over. So I'm back with my book. Read read read, sip sip sip. I'm not a morning person, but those are definitely one of the best times in the day for me. Just me, my book and my coffee.

And then its time for a bath. Nope, I do not put my book away. After years of practice, I now have an extremely efficient and intricate system whereby I can read AND have a bath. It requires careful balance and extreme multi-tasking skills.

After that, I have to get ready, and except for the 5-10 seconds when I have to pull the t-shirt/top/salwar over my head, I have my eyes glued to my book all the while.

I read for a while more. 'One more chapter, I tell myself.' And I'm one chapter down. And then I think, 'Okay, I'll read half of the next chapter'. 10 minutes later. 'Might as well finish this chapter'... 'Hmmm, just one more, last last chapter.'
And sometimes, the only reason I don't finish the book is because I want to save some for the next morning.

And God forbid I take the book with me to work !

For it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder

Some people just leave me with a bad taste in my mouth.

To them, I'd like to say, I pity you. I pity you for what you have become. I pity you for all the bitterness you carry with you. I pity you for the arrogance you need to deal with the bitterness.
For your sake, I hope there is no such thing as karma. For your sake, I hope what goes around doesn't come around.
Because if it does, then you're in for quite a beating.

Ass Like That

Southways has been doing some recycling from her old blog, and I thought it was a good idea. This is something I wrote a long time ago, 2 years back, in my very first blog.

I check out people's asses.. ya ya i know, almost every one does that.. But i can actually arrive at a fairly good approximation of a person's character just by looking at their ass. In fact I have this whole theory that I 'm trying to test. Is it a person's ass that determines his/her character or is it that their ass is shaped by their character?? I know its a little hard to digest but trust me, there really is some correlation .. i don't know which direction the relation runs that's what i'm trying to find out.. AND PLEASE NOTE THAT I VIEW THESE ASSES CLOTHES, not naked... just so that you don't think i'm some kind of twisted pervert..

let me elaborate.. have you noticed men with these flabby , yet barely there, sort of asses.. their ass is small but noticeable.. well they're usually the creepy kind.. or not very reliable.. but if a man has no ass, completely flat, then there's two possible conclusions. They're either a lot of fun to be with, intelligent, happy go lucky or they're the really irresponsible sort.. It'll be either of these two extremes. And if the guy has this really neat little ass that sort of makes it seem like the trousers were tailored for him , its definitely a good sign.. Usually the quiet , well organised sort..

There are lots more in between cases. I still haven't perfected it but I have a lot of faith in it...

Songs & Memories

Since I've been so out of things to write about, I made up a tag of my own. A tag to list songs and memories I attach with them.

'All I want is a room somewhere' from My Fair Lady takes me back almost twenty years. Junior school singing competition. I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach and the eyes of our Physical Ed sir, who incidentally was one of the judges, drilling a hole into me.

'Jesus Loves me This I Know For the Bible Tells me So' reminds me of Monday morning assembly. How we consistently ruined the song, dragging it out and singing it oh-so flat...

Scatman's World & Sleeping Child reminds me of school and our excursion to Delhi. Yellow scarves, piles of sweaters and an extremely noisy bus. And there was all the tension of who's sitting with who, which gang is cooler, which boy is hitting on which girl...

James Taylor reminds me of my father. We've never needed a music system in the car.

Nirvana & Led Zeppelin reminds me of College and my forays into the world of nicotine and more.

Beatles makes me nostalgic about college and our graduation dinner. We were all huddled together in a cab and headed to some pub, very drunk and very happy and singing 'nothing's gonna change my world' like we really meant it.

Have you ever watched a person's face as they stare at fireworks in the sky?

Its like looking at hope.